The Stories That Brought You Here is a home-spun podcast about the people who have built their lives on Pender Island. Each chronicles various parts of a person’s life. Below is an excerpt from a recent episode.
thestoriesthatbroughtyouhere.podbean.com/e/episode-66-carolyn-cartwright-owers
“When I started working at Hospice, I was doing all palliative care then. I did that for 10 years before I retired from the city of Victoria, and became the community care nurse on Mayne Island, and then, on Pender Island. As the community care nurse, a significant part of it involved home visits with people who had a palliative diagnosis.
“That was the piece I enjoyed the most, I call it—heart work. It might have been the most draining, but it was the most rewarding part of the work; just being with people and their families in that place. I think as time went on, I just got to be better at being with people.
“Any home care nursing is going into somebody’s home, into their space. It’s not the hospital; you’re not in control. They can tell you to go at any time. So, you have to go in and just see where everyone is at. That’s the thing I liked to teach other people when they were starting, they’d ask, ‘well, how do you go into somebody’s home?’
“I’ve seen people go in and try and, you know, change things, and tell people what to do. You can’t do that in people’s homes. They’re not going to tolerate that. I think especially if somebody is at home with a palliative diagnosis, you have to meet them wherever they’re at. They might not need you. You might have a visit, and then they may say, ‘thank you for coming. We appreciate the information, and we’ll call you if we need you,’ and that’s fine.”
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“I get bit choked up talking about this, because I looked after a lot of people over the years. And sometimes it was friends. That was really hard. Because most people who know me, know my heart is usually on my sleeve anyway. People used to say, ‘Well, you know, you have to harden up a little bit and just don’t take yourself in there.’ But I am who I am, and if I cry with them, I cry with them. Or, if I laugh with them, I’ll laugh with them. That’s what it’s going to be. I have to do that. And if it’s a friend, you can’t leave yourself at the door. That was probably the hardest, especially on Mayne Island, because I was the only nurse there for a while, and I didn’t have a choice of handing it off to somebody else.
“On Pender, it was a little different, because I had a colleague. But if they were on their days off, and I had to go, then, you just have to do it and fall apart afterwards. When you left, I mean, completely fall apart. You know, not just crying, but taking some breaths, going to the beach, and swim. Thank goodness we have that, because that helped me carry on.”